I almost managed to forget that it was Valentine's Day today (thank you Jia and Charlene), which is always a good sign. Although getting woken up by a sweet V Day message from Tiff is not something I'd complain about, ever :D.


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It's week 3 at my Practical Legal Training Course and counting. Already, it feels like I've been doing this forever. Yay for well-honed survival/adapting skills!

In case you're wondering what the course is about, it's essentially 'dressing up for school' (to quote one of my friends). We're there from 9am to 5pm in full business wear, with 1 hour power lunches, countless morning and afternoon tea breaks, our own little cubicle, mail boxes, and piles and piles of papers and files. We get fake 'phone calls' from fake clients, issue fake cheques from a fake bank, and run our own little fake law firms. Really, it's like playing Doctor, except... we play Lawyer.

"It's a Barnum and Bailey world,
Just as phony as it can be,
But it wouldn't be make believe
If you believed in me."

A strange environment indeed.


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Got my first experience of the grande office Valentine surprise. An endless parade of boyfriends / delivery men (we had fun guessing who was what) holding huge bouquets of red roses, chocolates, balloons, and stuffed toys etc., looking around in confusion and then resigning to their fate by yelling the names of luckless lucky girls on top of their voices amidst countless stares and giggles from around the office, like so ----> "BRIANNA*?! Bri*??? Where are you??? *looks around helplessly*"

I deeply suspect that Valentine's Day was created simply to be a spectacle, nothing more.

No hard feelings to the delivery men though, poor things.

*names have been changed to protect the modesty of those invovled


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I've developed a new-found appreciation of my ability to keep a straight face at all times. During a group exercise, I introduced myself to the Chinese guy next to me. The exchange went as follows:

Me: "Hi, I'm Shu. Nice to meet you!"
Guy: "Nice to meet you, my name is Shitty."
Me: (without missing a beat, but dying inwardly) "Oh? And how do you spell your name?"
Guy: "S-h-i-d-i."
Me: "AH! I see. Great!"


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It's only week 3, and I'm running out of lunch ideas. I can't seem to escape the curse of the sandwich (the one thing I truly do not enjoy)! But to eat out everyday would be to put a big dent in my wallet that I cannot yet afford. At the moment though, Centre Place and it's $3.50 baguettes are a lifesaver.


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Had a terrible case of the Monday blues last week. Nothing felt quite right, although I couldn't put my finger on what it was. So I hit upon the perfect solution - to make myself cry (without using an onion).

Hardest.
Thing.
To.
Do.

Ever.

I listened to the saddest songs I own, thought about the saddest things I've known, tragedies, deaths, goodbyes, missed opportunies... Nothing worked until I started watching a concert by the GazettE. They always end their concerts with a song called "miseinen" (未成年). It's a 'coming of age' song about being young and never giving up your dreams, written by the vocalist when he was disowned by his family for pursuing a 'useless' career as a musician. They always break down in tears when they play the song, and it gets to me, everytime.

Recklessly I was searching for something
Back then it was still okay to stumble
I know that I'm looking foolish
I'm only running without having any regrets

I could only trust myself
I didn't need anything like friends
I pointed my blade towards anything and everything
The wings of puberty are fragile and fickle

I wanted to become strong
I wanted the strength to live on my own
The truth is that I was only afraid of being betrayed
Only, running away won't change a thing
Although I understand this I am still unchanged

Proudly I held up a pride called loneliness
They were wings to run away to an ideal that was of no use
Proudly I held up a riot called self-assertion
Beyond this light there was nothing like liberty

I was drowning in these stormy days
As I realised it I was already burdened with loneliness
It was painful, the truth is that I was by myself
There was nothing to hope for

I was only bluffing because I forgot my true self
Sometimes you have to show strength but relying on others is important too
I got hurt, I got hurt, but at times I want to cry
Face the sky and scream in a loud voice

I don't want to forget myself
I want to be as I am

When I was burdened because of my weak self
The encouraging voices of my father, mother, and friends gave me light

Proudly I held up my loneliness and the wounds of puberty
They were the wings for the sake of running to an ideal that was of no use
If I can find my liberty behind this blue and lit up sky
I won't mind tearing these proud wings off
I started running, aiming recklessly at the sky
I extended my wings and began to fly
The place where I fell was "liberty"

I have a wonderful family and I have wonderful friends
These were the best days
If we are reborn, let us meet again

*Tear*.