Sunday, May 03, 2009
ALRRRRRRRIGHT!
That's it. I've had enough. Let me
Spell.
it.
out.
for.
you.
Dear Man, the way to my heart is:
1) Be an artist, musician~~~~ anything arty and cool.
2) Be FUNNY. In a self-deprecating, sarcastic sort of way; or in a totally sweet and self-effacing way. I DON'T CARE. Just don't make me feel tempted to hurl bricks at you or tunnel through concrete in order to escape your company everytime I see you.
3) Do NOT stalk me.
4) Do NOT make things super awkward/complicated for me by showing up at every single social event I show up to, and then proceed to STAND BEHIND OR BESIDE ME all the way through and make me contract stiff neck because I have to deliberately avoid one single particular direction for freakin' hours.
5) Do NOT make me feel like I have to keep talking and rambling nonsense to other people just to avoid a momentary lapse of silence where I feel obligated to talk to YOU (who is, well whadya know, conveniently standing behind or beside me so you're completely impossible to ignore without making ME look like a BITCH).
The first 2 are not really essential, but you definitely have a MUCH higher chance of success if you fulfil either, or better yet, both. Numbers 3-5, however, are absolutely DO-IT-OR-DIE edicts.
There you have it, Man.
ARE WE FREAKIN' CLEAR NOW?
..signing off..
2 dropped by
